A Road Trip Adventure Across America - Part Four

“Well I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation, it's a quest. It's a quest for fun, I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun, we're all gonna have so much fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our damn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah!”

Clark Griswold – National Lampoon’s Vacation

Day Two ended by seeing Four Corners in the dark and arriving late at a Travel Lodge in Farmington, NM.  Certainly not Sam’s Town, to Avery’s disappointment but a bed and shower, none-the-less and there’s no shame in thinking that’s enough.  After finally getting the kids to bed post watching Cartoon Network and then a little CNN to lull them to sleep, I could relax and….zzzzzzzz or in my case…ZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

Day Three.  Up and at ‘em.  We packed up the car, which was right outside our motel door, so convenient, and headed to our next destination: Bandelier National Monument, near Los Alamos.  I had visited once before with my friend Bob during a film directing seminar in Santa Fe (BTW, Linda Gray of Dallas fame was also in attendance).  Bandelier was known for it’s Native American cave dwellings and I thought visiting would be interesting and educational for the kids.  This was plan B as the original plan was to visit Royal Gorge in Colorado, the highest bridge in the U.S. but wild fires, days before we left California had destroyed most of the site’s buildings and the bridge itself had some damage.  Suffice it to say, it was closed to the public and so I had to find another adventure that would allow us to get to Colorado Springs by evening to visit family – Bandelier fit the bill.

The road to Bandelier wasn’t that exciting until we got near the Jemez Mountains.  Knowing we were short of time we didn’t stop for breakfast or lunch, we just snacked with what was in the car.  All I ate was a Hawaiian roll and an apple - a mistake I will regret later.

Once off the highway we found ourselves on a winding two-lane road, making our way towards Bandelier.  It was a lot more picturesque as we climbed mountains and delved into stream/tree-lined valleys.  We drove through a cute little bohemian village called Jimenez Springs that reminded me of Topanga in the Santa Monica Mountains near our home.  If I was alone with Johanna I’m sure we would have stopped for a romantic lunch but with Star Wars blaring behind me and a pre-teen complaining about her little brother kicking her I thought best to beeline to our destination.  

We soon passed this large green valley that looked like it was out of some 40’s romance movie that took place in Ireland.  At Bandelier I discovered that this valley was the Valles Caldera and was once the cone of an ancient volcano.  It was quite striking and I wished I had stopped to take better pictures than I could get holding my phone out the window (I did stop along the side of the road.)

The road became a lot more winding as we crawled up through the mountains and once we got near Bandelier it was very curvy but with striking views as we cradled the side of the mountain.  It seemed to take forever but we finally found the entrance to Bandelier.  It was closed to traffic (which I already knew because I’m smart and checked their website the night before).  We would have to go up a little further to the town of White Rock to get a shuttle that would take us into the Monument. 

The Visitor’s Center was clean and new and after I figured out that the area populated with Native American vendors selling trinkets was not where you wait for the shuttle, we were all set.  After a short break the shuttle arrived and we were at the Monument in about 15 minutes.  The shuttle stopped a couple of times along the way at trail heads but no one got off.  I don’t think anyone was going to be hiking much in the heat.

The kids needed a little nourishment before we went on the short loop hike so they got some ice cream and we all got bottles of water.  The food distracted the kids from the gift shop…well, sort of…at least we got out of there with only easily consumed items. 

Olivia took on the challenge of reading all the signs along the trail – which may have taken a little longer than I would have liked but it was good practice for her and hopefully she learned a thing or two.  It was helpful for Avery who could not read.  

After passing some of the native home ruins we began climbing steps up to the smaller cave dwellings.  At first Avery was a little reluctant to climb the wooden ladders up to the cave but once I helped him the first time he turned into a seasoned little papoose.  He would run ahead of us and be up in the cave dwelling before Olivia and I reached the location.  Olivia never did climb up inside, as she was a little timid.  She missed out because up in the caves it was nice and cool, yet they must have been short because I had to bend over to get around or crawl on hands and feet.  It was perfect for Avery.

As we continued on the hike, about half way we used up all the water.  It was hot – not Death Valley hot or Texas hot, but hot.  Luckily, we were walking onto the tree-lined stream part of the trail and in the shade, heading back towards the visitor’s center.  Along the way I started getting a little queasy but nothing bad. 

We finally got back to the parking lot and the water fountain.  After bathroom breaks we waited for the shuttle.  On the shuttle Olivia sat next to a couple of girls from Maine and subsequently began a conversation.  It was the time of day where Olivia can be a little motor-mouth and I suggested to her to ask the girl some questions about Maine in order to get her to let the girl talk.  The result was mixed. 

As the shuttle made it’s way back to White Rock I kept getting sicker and sicker.  I had cold sweats, nausea and a really bad headache.  Every stop and turn by the shuttle made it worse.  I hid from the kids I wasn’t feeling well and when we got back to the car I figured we’d stop in Santa Fe to eat and I could rest and get nourished and probably would feel better or so I hoped.

It’s always a challenge to find a place that will have food that Avery will eat so as I tried to find a suitable restaurant, that wasn’t McDonald’s, along the highway I came up empty.  We got into Santa Fe, making our way towards the interstate and again, nothing.  I was getting sicker and just wanted to crawl into a bed and assume the fetal position and moan.  I imagined sitting down as a bevy of waiters brought me cold drinks and plates full of food.  I’m sure there was a place to stop along the way but I don’t think my brain was working and I kept driving.

I got on Interstate 25 heading towards Colorado Springs.  There had to be a place off the highway, right?  To my chagrin, this part of the interstate went through national forest for miles upon miles.  There were exits but nothing but trees could be seen.  I didn’t know how long I could last and I finally had to reveal to the kids that I wasn’t at all well and had to stop.  I couldn’t wait for any kind of restaurant or even a gas station.  I found an exit which had a park and ride commuter lot (why out in the middle of forest, I don’t know why) where I parked and subsequently took a nap.  I didn’t know what else to do.

I figured I must have had heat exhaustion that probably came about because I had an empty stomach.  I did drink plenty of water.  I think I was out about a half hour.  The kids had their EDs so they were okay and it was daylight so I wasn’t that concerned.  I felt a lot better and was able to continue driving.

When we got to Las Vegas, NM, about twenty minutes later we found, what else, a McDonald’s for our dinner stop…actually, our only real meal of the day.  After some food in my tummy I felt a lot, lot better.  We were a little behind so I texted our relatives that we would be getting to their house after midnight. 

Before we got to McDonald’s I filled the tank so once we got back in the car I was alarmed that a warning light came on that I’d never seen before.  I quickly consulted the car manual and discovered that the warning light was an emissions control check and meant either of two things: I hadn’t turned the gas cap closed enough - after hearing three clicks - or it was in need of thousands of dollars of repairs…well it didn’t exactly say that but it did say to see a mechanic right away because it could mean trouble and DON’T DRIVE.  

I did remember not turning the gas cap all the way so that must be it, right?  I stopped along the highway and tightened the cap, as the manual instructed.  It said the light should go off after a while, if that was the problem.  I kept driving, staring at the light.  The sun was descending behind the buttes and the darkness just made that warning light scream at me more.  Five miles, still there.  Ten miles didn’t go away.  Twenty.  Thirty.  I got nervous and nervous.  Was I ruining the engine by continuing to drive?  I was in the middle of Nowhere New Mexico at 9:00 at night.  Where would I find a mechanic, let alone one open.  I had visions of Doc Hollywood, stranded in a Podunk town that needed a filmmaker and the townies keep me from leaving by pretending my car needs rare parts that take weeks to arrive. 

After a while you just tell yourself…”F*** It. I just have to hope for the best.”  So I kept driving.  Over the Raton Pass.  Passed Pueblo and finally Colorado Springs – the warning light still glaring at me. In my tired haze I actually think it morphed into the Wicked Witch of the West and cackled at me. "I'll get you, my sweetie, and that little car, too."  

I may have made it to Colorado Springs but I still had to get to their new house I'd never visited. It was too late to call for directions so I used my trusty phone’s GPS and the sweet digitized voice to guide me to the Brooks’ home with ease..."turn right in three HUNdred feet."  Once on their street it was easy to find their house as Joanne was waiting for us in the front doorway with a tired smile.  I gathered our needed bags and she showed us to our rooms with appreciated hospitality and a comforting British accent (she’s Johanna’s Aunt who married her Uncle Kenneth, her Dad’s brother while in the military overseas.) 

To make matters worse, my iPhone had run out of juice just as I pulled up to the house and the car charger cord wasn’t working for some unknown reason.  Inside the house my other cord wasn't working either, even after trying several electrical outlets.  I thought I had two major problems on my hand that could have resulted in two things – no car and no iPhone…AHHHHHHHH!!!! I screamed, to myself, or I would have waken up the whole house.  A man can take so much….but I was soooooooo tired and still recovering from heat exhaustion that all I wanted was sleep, which can go a long way on a long road trip.  ZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

(Next on A Road Trip Adventure Across America: Visitng with cousins. Climbing Garden of the Gods and Avery’s insightful idea while at the Air Force Academy.)

A Road Trip Adventure Across America - Part Three

"The wonders of the Grand Canyon cannot be adequately represented in symbols of speech, nor by speech itself. The resources of the graphic art are taxed beyond their powers in attempting to portray its features. Language and illustration combined must fail."
John Wesley Powell

Previously on our wondrous road adventure we had just toured the great Hoover Dam, recovered my forgotten briefcase/computer in Vegas and were finally on the road to the Grand Canyon - only 240 miles away.  I cannot praise portable DVD players and other electronic devices enough as they are saviors for parents on long road trips, though I was getting a little tired of hearing Star Wars Episode III over and over or the sounds of Star Wars Angry Birds. Not to mention Avery’s occasional desire for me to hum either the bad guys song (Darth Vader’s theme) or the good guy song (theme to Star Wars). The alternative of constantly hearing, "how many more minutes until we get there" is frightening. 

Along the route Johanna was able to secure a cabin at the Maswik Lodge within the park as we had gotten behind schedule and would not be able to tour the Grand Canyon and Monument Valley in the same day.  Honestly, my itinerary was a little too tight to begin with so I wasn't surprised, even with our mishap, that we couldn’t achieve the goal.  It all worked out for the best.

We arrived near the entrance to the Grand Canyon National Park late afternoon with no issues along the way except for some tired kids.  We stopped at a visitor's center outside the park to purchase our pass and get some advice and directions to the lodge.  It took longer to get there than I expected but we finally found the lodge - the last one in a line of about five or six.  We quickly checked in and found our cabin quickly, rushing to get all our stuff inside, get a bathroom break and then head out to take the shuttle to Hermit’s Rest, the best spot to see and photograph a Grand Canyon sunset.

We were able to walk to the shuttle and only waited with a large crowd about ten minutes for it to arrive.  Upon getting on Avery reminded me that this was his first time on a bus and he was excited.  A lot of firsts for the five year-old this trip which was exciting to experience.  The driver informed us about the various stops along the way and the best spots for photos.  He also stressed about the return trip and that if you miss the buss you have a long walk back in the dark.  We didn't want that to happen.  There was a stop, Pima Point, before Hermit’s Rest and it looked like a good spot to take pictures.  We had about 30 minutes before sunset so we debarked and proceeded to see the spectacular Grand Canyon in the golden showers of a dropping sun.  It was quite remarkable and as John Powell said in the quote above it truly is difficult to describe in words.  These pictures do say a lot more than I can describe so I will let them speak for themselves. A girl from Germany was nice enough to take pictures of Avery and I, as Olivia was too scared to go out near the edge of the rim. We did rush to Hermit’s Rest and arrived in time for sunset.  It was crowded with people from all over the world all-looking Westward.  Avery had a good time jumping around on the rocks and scaring me as he went out of eyesight.  In crowds parents are always a bit cautious, especially in the Grand Canyon where one false move and down you go hundreds of feet over a cliff.  My only wish was to have had a better camera to capture the view as I did on my previous visit.  One of my shots from that shoot won a ribbon at local Dallas photography contest back in the late 90's.

No issues getting back to the lodge where we sought out a place to eat and chose the pizza place because I knew Avery would eat pepperoni pizza.  This may have been a mistake since the place was over flowing because the final game of the NBA finals between Miami and San Antonio was live on all the screens.  We got in line and by the time we got our pizza and drinks the Miami Heat had won the championship...about an hour wait.  We took our pies and retreated to eat in the cozy cabin for a relaxing night.  The only issue was not enough electrical outlets for the kids to both watch their DVDs.  They had to sit on the floor while I downloaded all the pictures and videos from the previous two days.  I found out I can easily max out my camera with all the video I was shooting and would have to download every evening from that point on while on the road. 

We got up early, cleaned up and packed the car ready to do more exploring before heading to Monument Valley.  Of course, the gift shop was strategically placed across from the check out desk.  I will say this now if I don’t see another gift shop in my life I will be a happy camper.  At times I think the kids were more excited about the gift shops than the sites.  I figured we’d stock up on gifts for the family here and not have to worry later. 

Now with a lighter wallet we drove to the main Visitor’s Center, saw a cool introduction show projected on a moving globe and then a film about the history of the Grand Canyon.  We then walked to Mather Point, probably the most visited view area of the park but no less spectacular.  Avery enjoyed climbing all over the rocks wherever he could and Olivia became a little less scared and enjoyed the vistas.  I would like to return when Avery is older so that we could take the mule tour down into the canyon but we would need a few days to really take in all of the Canyon or perhaps one day a boat tour down the Colorado River through the Canyon – now that would be fun.

We got back in the car and headed down Desert View Drive to Desert View Point, another suggested viewpoint and one of the highest spots in the Canyon at 7438 ft. elevation. Of course, Dad had to stop along the way to take pictures and video at various points to the kid’s chagrin.  They had their EDs (electronic devices) to keep them company.  We got to Desert View, which would be our last Grand Canyon excursion.  Much like the main Visitor’s Center, Desert View has it’s own center, trading post and eating establishments but it also has the Desert View Tower – a stone structure that you can walk up stairs to various viewing areas for some nice views East and West.  As usual Olivia was reluctant to climb the stairs and stayed in the gift shop while Avery and I ascended with glee.  We were not disappointed.  We did get Olivia to come up to the first level plaza and then I think the hardest thing was getting back through the gift shop without buying anything – I think I deserve a medal for that.

The routine continued as we jumped back into the car for another long trek northeast to Monument Valley, a three hour drive broken up by another stop at McDonald’s in Kayenta before heading up Highway 63.  This was Navajo country and pretty bleak but picturesque.   I’m not sure if the kids really took in the incredible topography and geological wonders but I’m sure on reflection when they’re older they will realize it was quite special to witness that part of the country. 

MonumentValley had changed since I last visited back in the late 90’s with a new hotel and visitor’s center.  We took a look inside before driving the famous dirt road and this time I couldn’t leave without a few trinkets.  We retreated to capture the incredible views of the buttes that have made this place famous.  The many John Ford/John Wayne movies, as well as other more recent films such as Forest Gump have cemented the place as THE iconic western vista that you think of when you think of the American West.  As we look out I can almost see the wagon trains and cowboys making their way across the horizon.  I can’t say much more so here are pictures to say it better.

The Honda took a beating driving the dusty dirt road through the Valley.  A cake of red dust was all over the inside dash and I’m sure everywhere else. On the way out I even got stuck for a while going up a hill as the thick dirt had the wheels spinning.  Some careful maneuvering and I was able to get us out and back onto asphalt without having to call the cavalry…or actually the Navajo guides who would have probably laughed at me.

It was getting late and the sun was dropping quickly.  I wasn’t sure if were going to be able to get to Four Corners – where Utah, Arizona, Colorado and New Mexico all meet.  We got on the road and headed east to at least try.  I watched the sun drop and the moon rise while the shadows kept getting longer and longer on the desert.  The red rocks began to glow in the sundown light and the though the signs said we were getting closer it wasn’t looking good.  Then the sun was gone and as the light of dusk enveloped us I arrived at the Four Corners site only to see that it was closed.  In my mind it was some simple monument that didn't require security, but I guess I was wrong.  I shot some video of the sign just so I could prove that at least we were near and turned the car around to head to Farmington, New Mexico where we had a reservation for the night.  In the dark you couldn’t see much but it didn’t look like there was much to see, anyway.  We got in late and the room was simple but the bed felt good, none-the-less.  A little TV and a little fast dinner and we were all quickly in dreamland or in my case snoring up a storm.

(Coming up on The Road Trip Adventure Across America: Bandelier National Park, heat exhaustion and a car dash alert that drove me crazy.)

A Road Trip Adventure Across America – Part Two

In Travels with Charley: A Search of America John Steinbeck writes, “A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.” And he could not have said it better.  To remind you of part one of this saga my kids and I had just had a very hot adventure within Death Valley, California and we were heading into Sin City, Nevada for a night’s rest. 

As night enveloped us while driving through the desert we took the back way to Las Vegas.  I was happy to fill up the car with the lowest priced gas I had seen in ages: $1.39 compared to the near $4.00 a gallon before we left home.  Prior to leaving I had made only one hotel reservation and that was for Las Vegas.  I went online using a discount card purchased with one of those coupon savings books that Johanna got roped into buying but it did have hotel discounts. I booked a cheap room knowing we would only be sleeping and showering in what I thought was some small hotel-casino on the outskirts of Vegas on the way to Henderson.  I don’t even think you can book a hotel-only place in Nevada.  I had an image in my head of some mom and pop place, maybe akin to a Motel 6 but with a few one-arm bandits in the lobby.  For $30 a room it couldn’t be that great, could it? To be honest, I’ve only traveled through Las Vegas in a car once and stuck to the interstate and the other times were simply stopovers in the airport so I didn’t really have a feel for the place.   I only knew it through TV and movies. 

We entered the city by a Northwest route and made our way to our destination passing by the Strip.  The kids were fascinated by all the tall themed hotels, such as the one with the Eiffel Tower, the circus one and the place with the Statue of Liberty, which Avery pointed out with glee.  I told them we weren’t staying in any of those fancy places – just some small joint outside of town.  Avery was notably excited because he had never spent a night in a hotel or motel before in his five years of life.  Olivia was an old pro but Avery had expectations so I tried to temper those so he wouldn’t be disappointed. We kept driving and as the Strip faded and the hotels turned to strip malls and fast food joints my conclusions about our night’s stay seemed to be correct…or so I thought.  As we drove I couldn’t help but glimpse at a rather large sign in the distance, with flashy Broadway type lights encircling an electronic display as gaudy as anything on the Strip.  As we got closer I saw the name on the sign: Sam’s Hotel & Gambling Hall.  Ooops!   Seems I didn’t book some out of the way place after all, to the thrill of the two hooligans in the back seat. 

As we came up to the huge monument to all things unnatural it was clear we weren’t on the outskirts of town in some mom and pop type place.  It was like one of those mega churches you see in the South but with lights flashing and blinking everywhere and a congregation of gamblers.  I thought to myself I’d hate to be the guy in charge of changing light bulbs, though you’d always have a job, I guess.

Being on a budget we parked in the garage the large arrow pointed to by ourselves and had to hike it with the luggage for what seemed like a few blocks over to the hotel and gambling hall.  Olivia didn’t know what a gambling hall was and thought it read “climbing hall”.  I thought that was funny.  In her mind there was a large room with one of those rock climbing walls in it.  Anyway, here’s a nerdy Dad dragging luggage and two kids at 9:00 at night walking through rows and rows and rows and rows of slot machines trying to figure out where the front desk was hiding all the while hating the cigarette stench that was pervasive throughout the casino.  It would drive me crazy if I had to smell it for more than a few minutes.  I’m glad I don’t gamble, aside from the occasional lottery ticket and screenplay submission.

We finally made it through the slot maze designed to keep one dropping quarters in machines and stumbled upon the front desk.  The hotel portion of Sam’s was amazing and reminded me of a small Opryland Hotel: Tall glass ceiling made to seem like you’re in some small town.  The place had a very Southern country feel to it with an inside potted forest, animatronic animals, a real waterfall where twice a night they had a light show (we just missed it so I can’t report on how good it was).  Check-in was easy and we quickly made it to our very comfortable accommodations.  Avery was beyond ecstatic and demonstrated this enthusiasm by jumping up and down on the bed until corralled by the strong arm of Sheriff Dad.  But now the bar was set so high he was only headed for disappointment further into the trip when we’d most likely stay at a “real” cheap hotel and not one with rooms subsidized by gamblers.  I did meet a nice couple from Ventura while waiting in line to check in who visit there several times a year with much pleasure.  Small world.

After a short get-acquainted with the hotel room time, we headed down into the lobby to get a bite to eat even though it was late.  The only place to eat was Subway or TGI Fridays.  Olivia chose Fridays.  This was first in a series of her drinking too much Sprite before her food arrives and getting full before most of meal was eaten and infuriating her father.  Avery and food is a whole other issue.  Let’s just say he got a drink and that was about it.  I enjoyed a rack of ribs, though. 

Once a bath and shower were taken by the kiddos and I got them settled in bed with the TV blaring CNN (always a good sleep aide) they quickly fell to sleep after a long day of adventure.  I was not far behind after watching the news about JamesGandolfino’s sudden passing in Rome.  What a way to end a day. 

With free breakfast passes we got up early and headed to the buffet.  The kids were still waking up so they didn’t eat much even though there was food to feed an army at their disposal.  I pigged out.  We returned to the room and packed up to leave.  For some reason Olivia couldn’t roll her suitcase and so I had to lug all of our stuff – which proved to be fated for trouble.  We dropped the plastic room keys in a box and headed to the car…again having to trudge through the almost empty endless rows of slot machines.  We exited the hotel and passed by the 18-screen movie theater adjacent to the hotel.  This hotel had everything…even a talking bear.

After packing up the car we headed back on the road saying goodbye to Sam’s.  Of course, the kids want to come back. We’ll see about that. Next stop was Hoover Dam, another site I’d never seen and part of that old Disney film.  It was a short 40 minutes or so to the dam and after parking we made our way to the entrance right after they opened.  There must have been people camping out at the door because there was a hell of a lot of people already there.  I get to security and my little Swiss Army penknife was a no no in a Federal facility.  Darn.  Since it doubled as a USB drive I didn’t want to give it up and so without anyplace to hide it we had to walk all the way back up to the parking garage to store it.  When I got to the car and was placing all my pocket items in the car so I wouldn’t have to dump it all in the tray I noticed something was wrong.  Oh God!  My briefcase with my MacBookPro computer was missing.  I was keeping it on the passenger side floorboard but it was not there.  My stomach sunk.  My first thought was that I left it in the lobby of the hotel, putting it down to help the kids with something.  Then I thought I might have left it outside the car as we were packing up and forgot about it.  Either of those two scenarios spoke of doom.  I immediately called my wife Johanna to see if she could call the hotel as we walked back to buy tickets for the tour that was about to start.  Missing the tour would put us way back behind schedule so we kept going.  As I talked with Johanna I realized that while we left the hotel I was pulling two suite cases and so couldn’t possibly have carried my briefcase so it had to still be in the room.  I asked Johanna to call and see if I was right.  She called back as we were waiting for the tour to start to tell me the front desk told her they were sending housekeeping to check and that they’d call me on my cell.  I was on pins and needles waiting to hear.

We sat through the requisite film about the history of Hoover Dam, which was tainted by my nervousness but as we were exiting the theater I got a call from the hotel; they found my briefcase in the room.  Relief.  But…now we had to return to Las Vegas after the tour.  Oh, Mr. Steinbeck, my itinerary was falling about.  I had planned on getting all the way past Monument Valley that day but I knew that wasn’t going to happen.  An unknown plan B had to be set in motion but that could wait.  There was hours on the road before I had to worry about where to sleep that night.

We learned all about Hoover Dam and what it took to build.  They make it seem like it was the savior of the Great Depression but we were all in awe of its grandeur and the hard work it took a small army of people to complete in an era without computers and modern technology.  I was able to avoid the gift shop by telling the kids because we had to go back to Las Vegas and didn’t have time…which was true.  A bribe to eat at McDonald’s also helped.  We got back to Sam’s…this time parking practically next to where our room was…a little knowledge and some daylight helps.  We had to wait a good 45 minutes before housekeeping came down with my briefcase and because it contained a computer I had to show two signs of ID, sign my life away and leave one of my kids…that last one isn’t true but if I was asked that after a long day in the car my answer may surprise you.

Finally back in the car and on the road. The next stop was The Grand Canyon but three hours behind schedule. I knew we wouldn’t make it to Monument Valley so I elicited help from home base.  Johanna scored big time!  She found us a cabin right inside the park and at a reasonable cost. A family decided to cancel last minute and take the presidential suite at some hotel right outside the park. Our benefit. We would sleep in the Grand Canyon that night.  Pretty cool.

(Next on A Road Trip Adventure Across America: Keeping a five year old from falling over a cliff, majestic Monument Valley and trying to make the four corners before dark.)

A Road Trip Adventure Across America – Part One

When I was a kid we would watch Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color on channel 4 almost every Sunday.  On occasion they would present these mini documentary shorts and I recall one of them Tour of the West (first aired July 1955) was about a family’s road trip across the Western United States.  I don’t remember much of the details except for a station wagon driving on mountain roads and a strong desire to see in person all the iconic locations they visited.  Fast-forward from 1966 to 2013 and I finally decided it was time to fulfill that bucket list entry and at the same time add some nice memories to the minds of my kids.   

Everyone, including my wife, thought I was crazy when I proposed the road trip, driving from Moorpark CA to East Texas and then on to Mississippi to visit grandparents, aunts, uncles, and lots of cousins. Then returning.  Even crazier was taking four or five days to get there while stopping to visit cool sites all along the way.  And even more foolish was being stuck in a car for hours on end with a five year-old boy and twelve-year old girl.  I wasn’t fazed by the negativity and knew that this would be a trip that they would remember for the rest of their lives.  I can hear them say to their kids…”I remember that trip we took with our dad way back in 2013…it was awesome!”  And perhaps they will do the same, albeit in some sort of hovercraft or personal air car using hopefully a renewable energy source. 

I researched and created an itinerary for the first leg of the trip: California to Texas.  I decided to document the trip via iPhone video to have a record so the kids would actually know it really happened back in ’13. I packed the Civic with bags of Capri Sun, water bottles, pillows, blankets and plenty of snacks to last days.  Each kid had their own DVD player and a bevy of DVDs and other electronic devices to keep them entertained during the many hours in the car.  As a note: Avery’s choice of movie for the entire trip to Texas was Star Wars Episode III.  I would hear light saber fights coming from behind me hour after hour after hour.  Curse you George Lucas.

We headed out on Wednesday June 19^th with our first stop targeted for Death Valley National Park, a place I’d always wanted to visit.  Out in the middle of nowhere North East of Los Angeles, Death Valley was a good first place to immerse the kids in the world of U.S National Parks.  After taking the “scenic” route, where the term road is used very loosely, we made it to the first inhabited area called Stovepipe Wells, that had a ranger station, a small general store and a hotel.  The first stop was into the store for a cold drink and bathroom break.  We quickly discovered why Death Valley is known as the hottest place on Earth.  The 110 degrees hit us like a blast furnace and even the short 20 feet walk into the air-conditioned store wasn’t short enough to stop the sweat dripping down the brow.  Even before entering I knew the gift shop portion of the store would be problematic with my kids, but as you will hear from further stops, they are obsessed with the need to get something at every gift shop known to man.  This one was no exception.  “Dad, can I get this.  Dad, can I get that.”  I settled on a few trinkets and one snack item each.  Olivia was easy.  She just wanted gum but Avery picked out a chocolate bar. I didn’t think much of it At the time, but if I learned one thing on this trip it was never buy a five year-old a chocolate bar in Death Valley.  We left the store and by the time we got to the car and drove down to purchase entry passes the next building down I discovered the reason why chocolate and 110 degree heat don’t mix.  The bar had to have melted in a matter of minutes or less and you can guess the result: Avery was covered in brown sugary mess – from his face to his hands and a bit elsewhere as well.  It took a bottle of water and a lot of tissues (which I smartly brought along – of course I also brought wet wipes but this job required heavy lubricant) and cleaned off the soiled, yet happy, young man.  Who knows how much chocolate actually made into his tummy but I managed to get most of it off.  To his mom’s chagrin, the fingernails would have to wait until bath time.

The ranger at the station suggested we start out at the Mesquite Flats sand dunes which were just down the road as a good first stop.  The view driving up was amazing – like being in some David Lean movie.  We parked and got out and walked the dunes.  Of course the iPhone 4S was out and taking pictures and video right away.  Avery, as any boy his age would do, was running up and down the dunes pretending to be Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars reference#1).  Olivia was another story – complaining of the heat, which was understandable.  She eventually went back to wait by the car.  Another discovery I found was that an iPhone can actually overheat.  After about 10-15 minutes it stopped working and a warning appeared about excessive heat.  It must be hot if your iPhone stops working.  Curse you Steve Jobs.

Next stop was the Visitor’s Center at Furnace Creek – the main one in the park.  Luck had it that there was one covered parking spot left – which meant a lot as this is where we found out the official temperature was 110 degreess, displayed on a large LED outside the center.  We cooled off inside.  Toured the small museum about the valley and made it out without buying anything in the gift shop.  A tribute to my resolve, though you will see this resolve erode later in the trip.  A ranger was nice enough to tell us about other places to visit that would be easy with the kids and accessible since we only had the afternoon to explore.

Next stop was Badwater and the one spot in the valley I wanted to visit.  It is the lowest point in North America, 282 feet below sea level.  They even have a sign up on the overlooking ridge so you can realize how low you really are.  Again, my adventurous son wanted to run all over and explore while the sensitive daughter was complaining about the heat and wanted to go back to the car.  We didn’t stay too long but it was memorable none the less.

Next was a jaunt down and around Artist’s Drive with a lot of interesting geological views.  The kids got mad that I kept stopping to take pictures.  Tough.  I probably would never be there again so they can just… After the drive we headed to one of the highest parts of Death Valley – Dante’s View with a stop at Zabriskie Point along the way which gave great views of the valley.  I’m glad I remembered the Ranger telling me that on the last half mile to make sure to put the car in 3^rd or 2^nd gear because it was quite steep.  The views were superb but we also had our first “owee” incident when Avery tripped over a rock and skinned his knees.  Luckily, I was prepared for the need for triage and had Neosporin and Band-Aids on before you could say, “I’m stuckon Band-Aid brand ‘cause Band-Aids stuck on me.”

With the sun quickly falling down behind us we drove out of Death Valley and on the way East to our first pit stop: Las Vegas, NV.  The lights, the glitz the smelly smoke infested casino.

(Next on A Road Trip Adventure Across America: Sam’s Town, Hoover Dam and the tale of the lost briefcase.)

Rich Burlingham  copyright 2013

How Roger Ebert Changed My Life

Thursday morning the announcement came that famed film reviewer Roger Ebert passed away, or in his own parlance, “took a leave of presence”.  We meet a lot of people in our lives but very few actually affect your life in great ways.  First, and foremost everyone’s biological parents have the greatest effect since they gave you life and their genes, whether they remain in your life or not.  The parents or those who raised you, your siblings and others very close are huge influences, teaching you life lessons that determine who you are as an adult.  Most of us have teachers or coaches who motivated us or molded us or pushed us into a certain career or direction in life that would determine a lot of what would happen the rest of our lives.  Then there are people, many of which we may have never met in person, who sway us in a way that causes us to do things that we may never have done without their influence – Roger Ebert was such a person for me.

I did meet Mr. Ebert and spent an evening with him, along with actor/director Dennis Hopper (Giant, Easy Rider, Apocalypse Now, Blue Velvet) and David Carradine (Kung Fu, Kill Bill).  It was 1982 and I was working with the USA Film Festival in Dallas.  I was a film student at Southern Methodist University and after working for the festival since I was a Freshman I was able to get the coveted student position as a driver – we got to drive around movie professionals in donated luxury cars.  Not a bad gig. For film students this gave you unprecedented access to those who could possibly help your career or at least share a story or two. 

For a couple of days I was assigned Dennis Hopper, who was promoting an independent film that he directed called Out of the Blue.  David Carradine was also screening a film that he directed, staring himself and Barbara Hershey called Americana and Roger Ebert I believe was either acting as a host or mediating Q&A or a panel of some sort, I don’t remember.  Somehow the three arranged to go to dinner that evening and Mr. Hopper invited me to join them, which I thought was cordial of him.  Through our conversations I learned that he had been out of rehab and off drugs for about a year but that it had been a tough road.  I had great respect for Mr. Hopper after that – he was very intelligent and respectful of others and understood that he had a disease he had to fight the rest of his life – addiction. 

Joining us for dinner was Shannon Wynne, a Dallas club and restaurateur whose father developed  the original Six Flags Over Texas amusement park.  He had invited himself, I believe, and asked to come along with us in the car, trying to act as a host of sorts for the City of Dallas.  We ended up at the San Francisco Rose, a bar-restaurant with a back room where we ended up not too far from the campus.  I don’t recall how the others got there; only that Ebert was the last to arrive.  It’s been a long time so my memory is sketchy about the conversation that evening but I do remember David Carradine was very odd – soft spoken and quite personable – but went on and on about different topics in a kind of stream of consciousness manner that probably only made sense to him.  I have no idea if he was high or not but something told me that he just had that kind of quirky personality where you weren’t sure if he was a genius or simply off his rocker.  Gary Busey’s behavior on Celebrity Apprentice this season, reminds me of how Carradine acted that night.

Roger Ebert was very talkative and dominated the evening’s conversation.  He fawned all over Hopper, treating him like an anointed prince of film.  I could tell Hopper was annoyed but he never said anything.  I remained mostly silent, soaking it all up and enjoying the free steak – which for a college film student used to eating Kraft Macaroni & Cheese made illegally on a hot plate in the dorm room – was a great thing not to be taken lightly.

Also that evening I arranged with Mr. Ebert to pick him up at his hotel early the next morning in order to transport him to DFW Airport to catch his flight back to Chicago.  I had to get up extra early in order to pick up the Mercedes that had been donated and then get downtown to the hotel by 6am.  I got there an extra 20 minutes early only to discover that Mr. Ebert had already checked out and had taken a cab to the airport.  Boy I was pissed because we had talked in person about the arrangement and he knew I was going out of my way to help him. 

I had been a fan of Roger Ebert, along with his screen partner Gene Siskel, from their original PBS show Sneak Previews, which later turned into the syndicated show Siskel & Ebert At The Movies.  The next bit of influence Mr. Ebert had on me had to deal with a film review show that was a direct rip off of his show that appeared on the SMU campus cable channel and starred one of our professors, Roger Burke, and the School of the Arts public relations director – that show was called Movie Scoops.  A year later I took over as producer of the film review show but wanting to put my stamp on it changed the name of the show to Let’s Go To The Movies.  I know, I know, I probably should have kept the original name.  I loved movies and that show, inspired by Mr. Ebert, was my first adventure into producing a television show.

It would be years later that Mr. Ebert would change my life again when I began writing movie reviews for some both print and online publications.  I tended to write reviews in a similar style as he, being informative and straightforward, never pretentious.  He became America’s film critic.  Somebody who could let you know what films to go see and though he loved what many would call high-brow or intellectual films, he not only wrote the screenplay to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls for Corman but many of his favorite films were populous, popcorn movies made for the masses.  And really isn’t that what movies are for – everyone.