Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Trump = New Coke

This is my analogy of today’s political atmosphere equating political leaders to certain beverages.

The Trump presidency could be thought of as akin to the experiment with New Coke.  Focus groups told the Coca Cola Company that people liked Pepsi’s sweeter taste so they changed the formula and created New Coke.  But in reality people didn’t like it and wanted the classic Coca Cola back.  In political parlance, in 2016 it was thought that we needed something new, a candidate that would stir things up, drain the swamp, shake up Washington, but in reality, we need and want classic Republicans and Democrats.

Today sugary beverages are on the outs - studies show they are really bad for you and a leading cause of obesity. I believe people want just plain, down-to-earth drinks, which goes to show the increase in various flavored waters.  

Politicians = Drinks

Trump = Mountain Dew (as worst example of sugary drinks). High octane, high sugar content, not really good for you except to cram for a test for which you waited to study for until the night before, hence bad choices.  Bad for your long-term health care. Pretends to be exciting and one of the people, but really isn’t.      

Hillary Clinton = plain tonic water.  At first the fizziness is nice but then it just becomes annoying and then there’s that aftertaste. Yuck.

Bernie Sanders = High priced, Whole Foods spring water.  Good for you, but too pricey, would break your bank if you drank it everyday.

Schumer or Pelosi = coffee house drinks, hot or cold. Too expensive, too fancy, too urban. Satisfying on an occasional basis but can make you high strung. Good if beans from organic, Fairtrade sources but is it worth the price?

Rand Paul or Mitch McConnell = Bourbon.  Stuffy and staid. Often goes with cigars (also bad for you). Hits you hard and at first loosens you up, but quickly makes you unable to think straight and many times turns you into a mean drunk. Also, often watered down at bars, but most don’t realize it.

What the American people need is a plain cup of Joe (pun intended) or unsweetened iced tea (a little mint stalk or lemon wedge wouldn’t hurt). 

I think John Kasich on the Republican side fits the bill, but unfortunately, he’s not running. He’s a Midwesterner who speaks plainly and is level-headed = a nice tall glass of iced tea. Refreshing, inexpensive but with a little kick and you can drink it all day.

For those who are running, good ole Joe Biden seems to have a similar sensibility, centrist views for the most part. Down to Earth, experienced, been there done that and reliable = A cup of diner or street vendor coffee.  May not be all that exciting but will get the job done.

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